Worship

I used to think "Godzilla" by Blue Oyster Cult was a worship song, because my right speaker was broken.

Cover Band

I want to start a Zombie Hall & Oats tribute band

...and we'll only play the song "Maneater"

Career

I think I could make a career...

out of being the "before" photo in ad campaigns...

Taco Bell

I think Taco Bell should start an ad campaign called "stuff your emotions".

Tired

Are you tired?

...Because you've been running through my dreams all night.


...away from me.

Hangover

Trying to put on my belt in the morning during a hangover is like trying to solve a rubiks cube.

I'm stumbling around the room, crying and confused...

hoping some Japanese kid will come and help me.

Club

I want to start a club called "Cripples for America"

...and our slogan would be "These Colors Don't Run."

Twitter

Thank God I didn't have Twitter in seventh grade.

Mortal Kombat tonight

Magic The Ghtering!!!!!!!!
Updated 2:35

Subway

I want to open up a Subway sandwich shop, and all I'll have on the menu is the word "sandwich."

"uhh, I'll have the...sandwich?"

"Good choice sir, that's all we have."

Romantic Comedy

Whenever I watch a Renee Zelwegger movie, I'm never sure if I'm watching a romantic comedy, or a nature documentary on the ugliest creature on the planet.